Perplexing

I have no idea if anyone else feels this way or if I'm about to stomp all over a verbal landmine; well I probably am. This is completely off the topic of what I originally sat down to write about but whatever...I'll get back to it. As with almost every other human being in the world, I have a bunch of weighty and not so important thoughts trouncing around in my head and I'll hold them in for months, sometimes years for fear of once expounding upon them in public, I'll be met with a silence that could send Edward Cullen to the grave and then I'll be forced to wallow under a label of ignorance for the rest of my life.

For instance, when I was in college, I took a journalism class in which our professor was a huge U2 fan and a total "favoritist". Not sure whether or not Webster agrees with me on that one but given the fact that "bootylicious" was added to his esteemed pages a few years ago, I won't let it worry me too much. He wouldn't even try to cover up the fact that the prettiest girl in class could have defined journalism as the act of hiding a bunch of diaries under her bed; he still would've given her an A. Needless to say, I tried really hard to pay attention and would agonize through the duration of a class period on whether or not to contribute to a group discussion. Every now and then, I'd luck out and sound halfway intelligent, but most of the time I'd start talking and simultaneously battle out an inner dialogue running through my head. You know, that exact moment when you open your mouth to say something, knowing you have no idea what the heck you're talking about but you have to keep going (otherwise instead of coming across as merely being nonsensical, you would look like Emma from Glee, fully operating in her spiritual gift of social awkwardness). So, you just have to Thelma & Louise it; finishing your incoherent thought, tearing off the side of the cliff, hair tousling in slow motion, perishing in fall explosion of flames brighter than a 4th of July fireworks finale. All in the time frame of 5 seconds. And everyone's staring at you looking slightly confused and uncomfortable. Anyways, I started writing today with a completely different thought on my mind...about using the people who approach us as a gauge to determine our own attractiveness. A fatalistic attitude??