I haven't found myself in this predicament often, but I have experienced it enough to fully realize the agony of every passing moment; and the fact that, it is in fact, only moment by moment I must watch go by that only until satisfied by an eternity, will this predicament see fit to pass...
Unrequited...means invisible. It means un-thought of. It means not remembered. And the cruelty lies in the truth that you are clearly visible. You are thought of. You are remembered. Dearly. It is a weight that by an unseen force makes me fight to keep my head raised, insides in control and eyes trained on what is in front of me; rather than looking, searching for you.
Unrequited stretches beyond an inconvenience; an inconvenience can simply be forgotten through distraction. How pleasant. But the stark difference with you is that no matter the trouble, frustration or disappointment before me, I cannot forget. You.
To you, I am not remembered. To you, I am not even merely a passing thought. Though I shout inwardly, I cannot even whisper outwardly because I am, before your eyes, unseen. And as you travel through your days; progressing through your li
fe, you are free & happy to ride the wings of time traveling to wherever the winds may take you. But I. I must hoist you upon my shoulders, wresting you from the residence you've erected in my heart and bear the burden of you until that moment. Moment by moment. For an eternity, until you are gone.
Chopin Nocturne No. 19 in E Minor
Trois Gymnopédies: Gymnopédie No. 1
Mmmm. Time plus active, stabilized dissonance can cure this. It is sealing off inside and out the core of your being, and guarding, but not locking the entrance. All else will be recovered. But it is a painful journey and cannot be avoided. Stay strong
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